Crisco, Dez & Ryan | Featured | KS95

AirHead AirTagged

Dez returned this past Tuesday from her trip to Montana where she along with her husband and a group of friends attended the Under the Big Sky Festival. A three day music festival featuring wonderful music from bands nobody on this earth has ever heard of. As well as a rodeo, a roundup (whatever the hell that is?) and any other hillbilly thing you can think of. However, this trip to Big Sky Country would prove to be much different than her typical excursions to Montana. Yes, her weekend getaway was filled with plenty of terrible music and bottomless Bush Lights, but it turned out to be full of self-realization and eye opening moments too. After whining non-stop of aches and pains, Dez’s much younger husband eventually had to give her a piggy back ride to get her back to their campsite. While using every ounce of his strength to lug his intoxicated, intolerable, and beautiful wife Dez from point A to point B, Dez couldn’t help but to take a slight tinkle on his back while he carried her. The group Dez was with then decided they were going to come up with a code word they could use when Dez starts talking to strangers too long. The code word… “Pineapple”. Simple, yet subtle. Unless you’re a hillbilly and don’t understand the concept of a code word. The concept of casually and naturally sneaking your code word into your conversation to signify in this case, it’s time to wrap it up. If you’re a hillbilly, most likely pineapple is one of the few words you know (thanks to alcoholic beverages and SpongeBob) so instead of sneaking it into your conversation, you just start shouting pineapple every other word. As if peeing on your husband and friends having to devise a strategy to get you to stop talking wasn’t enough for her to realize she’s a 4 year old trapped in an 85 year old’s body; what her friends had to do next would leave Dez unable to no longer deny the fact that she truly is a toddler. After Dez kept wondering off and getting lost, her friends had to AirTag her. AirTag is a small tracking device that 99.99999% of the time is used by people to help find and keep track of personal objects such as keys, phones, wallet, etc. Of course in this case, it was not used for any of the aforementioned objects. No, in this case it was used to keep track of Dez. Practically the grown up version of putting a leash on a child. The leash being the AirTag and the child being Dez. After metaphorically being leashed by her husband and friends the self-realization slowly began to sink into Dez “Oh my goodness… I am a grown up child. My friends have to take care of me like I take care of my children.” We quickly rushed to Dez to inform her that’s so not true! All your servants take care of your children, your kids are lucky to see you once a week! Yep, it was quite the weekend for our little Dezzers up in Big Sky Country. A weekend that has definitely had her questioning many of her life choices. It’s also left all of us with one question as well. Is AirTagging someone ridiculous or is it genius?? If you have an opinion please let us know!