Louis Tomlinson is looking back at the intense emotions he felt when One Direction decided to break up in 2015. It appears he didn’t want things to end.

The singer previously revealed in the new trailer for his All Of Those Voices documentary that at one point he didn’t foresee a career outside of the band. In a new interview with The Times, Louis described how hard he took the news that his bandmates were going their separate ways.

“When One Direction split up … I was mortified, I was absolutely gutted,” he said. “I was a bit bitter, I suppose because it just felt like another loss to me.”

Louis says he feels differently now than he did nearly eight years ago. “I’ve a better understanding of things now, and there’s not as much anger. It is what it is,” he said.

Louis also shared how he felt when Harry Styles‘ solo career took off a few years later, admitting he felt envy “at the start, maybe.” He said Harry’s rise came as he was “trying to find my feet.”

“It’s never healthy to cross-reference your own success with others is it?” he remarked. He added that also helped him learn to “elevate myself in those moments when I have to.”

That said, would Louis be keen on a One Direction reunion? “Getting back together at some point is hard to imagine right now,” he admitted. Although fans may be disappointed by the news, Louis isn’t giving up hope.

“I’d be surprised if we lived out our lives and didn’t have a moment where we had a reunion, or whatever you want to call it. I’d be up for that,” he offered.

All Of Those Voices hits select theaters on March 22.

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