Secrets: #ThisIsWhyIQuit

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What did you quit? “#ThisIsWhyIQuit they were serving meat that was dated 2017 and we were in 2022” “All the ‘oh my god my life is so perfect’ people on Facebook is #WhyIQuitFacebook” “After almost 8 years and a lot of hard work my boss decided to “not demote me” but cut my pay by 1/3rd so they could promote my suck up coworker.”

Secrets: What do you only do when nobody is around?!

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What is it that you do only when you’re by yourself? “I sing and dance around the kitchen to Britney Spears.” “Scratch my butt. Hemorrhoids suck! Excited for baby but not excited for what pregnancy brought.” “When no one is around I wear my wife’s underwear, she would never approve but it’s my secret.”

Secrets: I got peer pressured into…

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What did you get peer pressured into? “I got peer pressured into a wet t-shirt contest. (I was 40 something. And… I won!!!)” “I’m currently getting pressured to eat… cow hearts and fried guinea pig. No thanks.” “Got peer pressured into piercing the ol’ nips!”

Secrets: What Makes You Nervous?

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What makes you nervous?! “What makes me nervous? My girlfriend finding out I slept with her sister and I pretend like nothing happened.” “Watching the barista make my coffee, put the lid on, and see how close he/she gets to touching THE COFFEE HOLE….MAKES ME SOOO NERVOUS!” “My husband and I had a threesome with my best friend and she is now dating my husband’s best friend and they are going to get engaged soon and we are worried that he is going to find out!”

Secrets: I wish I was brave enough to…?!

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What do you wish you were brave enough to do?! “I wish I was brave enough to say hello to Crisco.” Well just so you know, you can say hello to him anytime. He’s the nicest guy in the world and so happy to talk to people! “I wish I was brave enough to tell my in-laws to stuff it. ;-)” “I wish I could leave my toxic workplace without a new job lined up.”

Secrets: Most Embarrassing Thing Your Kid Has Done?

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What’s the most embarrassing thing your kid has done? “My daughter was playing hide and seek at a family picnic, she wanted to win so badly she pooped in the bush she was hiding in!” “My four-year-old child decided to play bongos on the breasts of a woman he didn’t know…” “Daughter caught her dad and I mid-unicorn. We didn’t know until she was asking why we were wrestling and making noises.”

Secrets: What's Your Biggest Turn Off?

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What’s your biggest turn off?! “When your “having fun” with your partner and they let out a big fart!?” “Excessive body hair on guys. I don’t want to date a sweater.” “Biggest turn off… arrogance or narcissism. There is nothing more disgusting than someone that thinks they are more entitled than you.” “Men with carpets on their chest and back??”

Secrets: What did you find out later in life that you wish you didn't?!

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What did you find out later in life that you really wish you didn’t?? “At age 30 when my dad was terminally ill, I found out that my uncle is really my dad. My mom has never brought up the subject. I found out in a letter from my uncle.” “Secret, I wish I didn’t know my grandfather ran a huge Ponzi scheme and ruined hundreds of families’ savings. He died before he could be punished for it.” “Found out later in life that my brother is actually my half brother and my mom had an affair with another man. My dad knew but forgave her and raised my brother as his own.”