Secrets: #ThisIsWhyImBroke

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Why are you broke?! “I just bought a new hot tub with all the frills!!! This is why I’m broke…” “I’m broke because I keep buying things for my house to keep up with the neighbors. Home ownership is so annoying.” “I’m broke because my current job pays terribly. But I start my new job at Hubbard on the 8th!” “I’m broke because I spend all my money on beer and ice cream. Somehow I’m still not fat!”

Secrets: What do you have ZERO interest in?!

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What do you have absolutely ZERO interest in?? “Sex… with my husband!??” “Zero interest in my sister’s stories about my nephew’s baseball games.” “Concerts. Never been to one and don’t want to.” “I have ZERO interest in coffee. Never had it, never will.”

Secrets: What do you do that other people find weird?!

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“I like a slice of cheese with mustard on it as a snack.” “I work as a car salesman (I’m a woman) and have a degree in medical biology and could be working in a hospital.” “People think me wearing thong underwear as a guy is weird.” “I love eating frozen french fries.”

Secrets: I wish I could Tell My Best Friend…

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What do you wish you could tell your best friend so badly?! “Dear best friend: I know you have a huge crush on my husband and your fake voice and fake personality around him make it so obvious.” “To my (former) best friend: your boyfriend is trash!” “I’d love to tell my best friend that my husband fantasizes about hooking up with her husband.”

Secrets: What do you wish you would've never gotten?

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What do you wish you never got? “My matching tattoo…with my now ex-husband…face-palm. Lol.” “I wish I would’ve never gotten male lingerie from my wife. Now she wants me to wear sexy underwear for her all the time…” “A degree in radio broadcast. Lol!!”

Secrets: #ThisIsWhyIQuit

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What did you quit? “#ThisIsWhyIQuit they were serving meat that was dated 2017 and we were in 2022” “All the ‘oh my god my life is so perfect’ people on Facebook is #WhyIQuitFacebook” “After almost 8 years and a lot of hard work my boss decided to “not demote me” but cut my pay by 1/3rd so they could promote my suck up coworker.”

Secrets: What do you only do when nobody is around?!

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What is it that you do only when you’re by yourself? “I sing and dance around the kitchen to Britney Spears.” “Scratch my butt. Hemorrhoids suck! Excited for baby but not excited for what pregnancy brought.” “When no one is around I wear my wife’s underwear, she would never approve but it’s my secret.”

Secrets: I got peer pressured into…

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What did you get peer pressured into? “I got peer pressured into a wet t-shirt contest. (I was 40 something. And… I won!!!)” “I’m currently getting pressured to eat… cow hearts and fried guinea pig. No thanks.” “Got peer pressured into piercing the ol’ nips!”